The Fetish for Funds Program

Feasting at the trough filled with cash, it may be a little hard for Alaska's lone representative in the House, Don Young, to hear the calls for a little sacrifice from the pork barrel fund in Congress to go towards helping victims of the Gulf Coast hurricanes. Well, the growing crowd of people calling for such sacrifices were kind enough to point out Congressman Young, specifically, the nearly half billion dollars appropriated for two bridges in Alaska (previously mentioned in A Disaster Compounding a Disaster).

So, one would expect Congressman Young to take a breather from the trough and announce he'd be happy to share with those that are suffering, right?

"They can kiss my ear! That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Excuse me, Congressman?

Young, who fought to keep the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) out of the Department of Homeland Security to keep its clout and focus, is now abandoning the cause he championed when he was fighting to keep his influence over FEMA as Chairman of the Transportation Committee.

His rationale for not sacrificing those massively expensive bridges in Alaska? As reported in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner on September 21:

"If Congress did pick up its can opener, Young asked, which members would vote to surrender their earmarks to raise the money?

"'If they want to give their money back, fine. Let's see those states give their money back,' he said."


Courtesy: Artizans

This has to be the first time that a member of Congress is perfectly content not taking the lead and not maing himself (and therefore his state) look like a shining example of compassion. Yes, it would take a new bill to transfer that money back from the signed highway bill. But who is going to vote against aid?

But beyond that, Young defended his stance (website may be subject to change) on his Congressional website. Furthermore, on a news release from his website, Young said "This is not the funding level that I wanted, but this funding level will help boost our economy."

It's not? Should one bridge cost half a billion before it's a funding level you want? Couldn't a bridge do it's job without costing a quarter billion dollars?

It is rare that I will agree with someone such as Michelle Malkin. But on this issue my sentiments are the same as hers. (There are also links for further reading.)

I have a simple solution to this problem. Since Congressman Young made his remark after being asked about the money, I think I should take on the burden and kiss his ear. If that is what it will take to free up funds to help the people of the Gulf Coast, then I will do that. I will even add in some tongue. When Don Young wants his ear kissed, just ask me and I will do that in exchange for the funding.


Congressman Don Young (R-AK) just needs some ear lovin'.

Let's spare the childish bickering to keep all the toys for himself. I am willing to make this sacrifice. It is only fair for Congressman Young to do the same. The people of the Gulf Coast desperately need the funding for relief operations. Half a billion dollars could purchase much needed supplies. For that, I will kiss Don Young's ear and make sure he enjoys it. After all, that kiss is costing him half a billion dollars. Perhaps this can be the beginning of a new charity: The Fetish for Funds Program. Or Pork for the Poor. Or the Compassionate Congressmen Fund.